rlbourges

Beginning

In Drafts, Hautvoir, Sundays, Visual artists on March 27, 2016 at 9:13 am

A moment of fascination, thanks to a posting of illustrations from a document printed in the year fourteen hundred and ninety three. Wood blocks, I think, illustrating the seven days of creation according to Judeo-Christian cosmology.

At first, out of nothingness, a circle that looks like a ship’s porthole. Inside the circle, the elements appear, circle upon circle like electro magnetic waves. There’s no explaining what fascinates and what doesn’t. I feel the itch to draw in my arm.

A day away from the computer means a day in which writing happens in long hand. Personal writing, for the most part – letters not meant for sending but for clarifying issues that will never find resolution otherwise. Hold on – am I saying a letter never posted or even torn up after writing – can resolve something? Yes, if only for the writer. It can clarify motivations, for one. It can point the way to likely reasons for rushing forward or refusing to budge. It can lay bare sources of incompatibility.

One such bit of writing yesterday turned on my staunch refusal to maintain contact with an ex-spouse. What others make of this, not being my concern. I know the tyranny of good manners dictates smiles, while the opposite tyranny commands fight-to-the-last in proving your principles are way more principled, etc. Neither attitude feels appropriate.

How will the fictional ones make use of any of this? I don’t know. At any rate, I was surrounded by people much, much younger than I, yesterday. I recognized a lot of the posturing, the way you recognize a hairstyle or a piece of clothing as representative of an era or a decade.

The clock reads nine am (it would have said eight, yesterday). The table on which I eat and work: overrun by files, books, dictionaries, scribbled notes, empty bottles of mineral water. Perhaps the character will speak up while I sort through the chaos on my desk. He might be involved in the same kind of clean-up, although for other reasons.

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