Low point

In A post to keep afloat, Absurdlandia, Current reading, Hautvoir, proto drafts on February 6, 2016 at 9:29 am

How many years ago? Who’s counting. I couldn’t feel the ground under my feet. Stunned and elated, I was. I’d connected with someone out there, for god sake. Someone from the world of books. I didn’t stand outside the local library. I wandered like a drunk between the cars in the library parking lot, close to pinching myself. Someone, someone from the world of books had left a fantastic comment on the blog I called mine in those days. Forgive the overstatement: it was like an atheist discovering that God exists after all. Not only does He exist, but He’s a really fine entity and, yes, the world does make sense.

Of course, I’ve stumbled down since then to a place where I definitely feel the ground under my feet and watch out for the dog turds and potholes, as one must in this rundown little town.

There’s not much soaring these days. Not much that dazes and amazes into believing fairy tales can come true. Some things get done out of sheer persistence but even writing feels like a lost battle, most of the time.

At any rate. Current reading : the final part of Faulkner’s The Sound and the Fury. Current state of mind: struggling to make sense of a personal situation  that makes less sense with every passing day. This sure isn’t what I set out to achieve when I came to Europe. Nor is it what I set out to achieve in writing.

Low points. Used to them, no? The place from which a body bounces back, yes? Ah yes, for sure. Choose another angle. Find another source of enthusiasm, somewhere.  Inner enthusiasm, you understand – although sincere encouragement from out there wouldn’t hurt either.

Lost it. Pick yourself up and find something else. (As for why this blog suddenly gets 33 hits from Argentina, who’s to know. I’m inside my head, not somebody else’s.)


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