The first of the selves you encounter on waking up: a variable business. Confident, happy-go-lucky one day, riven with anxiety another, nowhere-don’t-know on a third. Or practical, or dreamy, or…
Getting in gear from whatever place. Correction: no need to get in gear from the confident, focused one. The getting in gear happened before waking up. Why? no idea. All the other states of mind need a shove of one kind or another.
Active vs passive tenses. They apply to the emotional landscape. Doing vs being done upon whether by someone else or by your own assumptions. Attitude? Blood glucose level? Call it what you want. Walking out of the Community Center at the end of the day yesterday. Sunshine, trees in blossom, the job done. “Liberté, liberté chérie,” I felt, and stopped on the bridge to watch the river flow, the ducks and water rats glide. Job done for the day, free, no further obligations.
This morning? Muddled, and so are the characters. None of them playing eager volunteer for the next scene. Nobody interrupting the others – the way one of the Wednesday afternoon children does because what she has to say matters so much more than whatever else is going on. “Sixty-eight?” she screeched after asking my age. “How can you be sixty-eight?” It only involves staying alive long enough to answer your question, I said. Can we get back to the fact you “forgot” your school books again?
Today: It’ll be a slower start. The pace should pick up soon enough.