rlbourges

It seemed like a good idea at the time

In A post to keep afloat, Fun, Games on February 4, 2015 at 8:27 am

Seven years is a long time to go on making the same mistake. If there’s anyone who finds my mistake amusing, so much the better. Seems I’m gifted for the comedy of errors, and may as well accept it. True, I had other ambitions than to finish my days, staring out of windows and being that useful old woman the younger ones turn to when they need a hand with something. In fact, I feel like one of the nondescript women Alice Munro writes so well about. How’s that for wonderful: to wake up at sixty-eight, a secondary character in a Nobel-winner’s cast of thousands.

The sky is solid grey. The rooftops, solid white.

***

“You’ll get over it,” he wrote. This was back in March or April of the year two thousand and eight. The man had just introduced me to the writing of Louise Erdrich. I had said I was in awe – which had prompted that comment in reply.

I didn’t get over it. In that and many other instances, I seem to be lacking a getting-over-it gene. Which leaves no other option than to laugh at myself because crying is way too boring. I cry anyway. What the hell, it’s cheaper than getting drunk. The year I thought my most cherished dreams were coming true. Should get over it. Must get over it.  Life is short and some days are longer than a toothache. Etc.

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