You just try, in your way, to be free

In Animals, Circus, Drafts, Local projects, Music, notes, Synopsis, The Crab Walker on November 6, 2013 at 8:21 am

And so the distance grows. The distance between this blog i.e. the state of mind when I write it and the way I speak, act, feel when away from it.

The same distance as between the active me and the writer? No, something else. When I write fiction, or even notes for myself or others, the distance disappears.

The distance has to do with expectations. On this blog, I feel the expectations. As keen as the hoot of an owl at night. The silence that follows. Then, off in the distance a hoot in response. What the owls exchange in terms of information, I don’t know.

One such moment embedded in my consciousness from the days travelling through the States in the old Jayco. The moment showed up again in the first novel I finished here in France.

Driving home from the film program with a friend, last night. Off on the left, caught in the headlights, a huge raptor rising. Must have been a light beige in daylight. Did it appear bigger because of the surprise and the surrounding darkness? Maybe. A beautiful sight.

Walking the fine line. Different for everybody. The fine edge.

Tonight, something different: after the afternoon coaching sessions, a drive to Albi with another friend who’s invited me to the showing of cirque Trottola‘s latest show, Matamore. A special moment, in many ways. A poster of another one of their shows, Volchok, once posted on a bedroom door. It once served as a reminder I was losing my way. Forgetting basic lessons.

Birds. Big, small. Birds.


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